Growing Together in Faith

“Each marriage is a kind of ‘salvation history,’ which from fragile beginnings — thanks to God’s gift and a creative and generous response on our part — grows over time into something precious and enduring.” // Pope Francis

Valentine's Day serves as the culmination of National Marriage Week, a week that Catholics celebrate each year. The 2025 theme for National Marriage Week is 'Marriage: Source of Hope, Spring of Renewal. Pursue a Lasting Love!' 

As we celebrate marriage this week in our Jubilee of Hope, we want to recognize two couples from our family of parishes who met in their youth at one of our family churches and have grown together in faith since as husband and wife. Throughout their marriage journeys, they have turned to their faith as a source of hope and renewal, recognizing that God is the piece that holds them together.

Howard and Holly Emsley

The Emsley's love story is one every young Catholic hopes for! Both Holly and Howard grew up in households with committed Catholic parents. A Catholic education was priority growing up, and a connection to faith was instilled in them from a young age. When God brought both to the Dayton area for work as young adults (Howard at Wright Patterson and Holly at Miami Valley Hospital), they each registered as parishioners at Incarnation Church to continue their faith as adults.

As they joined the parish in the Fall of 1987, a new young adults group was forming to build a faith community for young married couples and post-college singles. They both decided to get involved with the group and found themselves together constantly as their social lives became entwined with Incarnation Young Adult adventures, sports teams, faith events and weekly Mass as a group. After a few months of budding friendship, the two began purposefully dating and quickly realized that their relationship was something special. Howard proposed on the Serpentine Wall in August 1988 and they were married in September of 1989. Their marriage was just the start from this young adults group, as more than a dozen marriages came from it (many of which are still active at Incarnation and other parishes in the area).

Emsley Wedding, September 1989

Since their wedding day, Holly and Howard have found a deep connection to their faith through their children. As they grew throughout adolescence, the Emsley family was greatly involved at Incarnation School, which provided a strong Catholic education and environment, as well as sacramental preparation. They also created religious traditions for their household, and made sure that the Mass and parish activities were regular events on their family calendar. As their children have now reach adulthood and make independent decisions about their own faith lives, Howard and Holly can see where the Catholic teachings they grew up with are ingrained in their values. They continue to pray for their children daily, and hope that they fully understand how God is always there with them in any stage of life

While much of their faith since marriage has been nurtured through raising their children in the traditions and practices of the Catholic faith, they have found a new outlook on their faith lives as empty nesters. They have prioritized expanding their knowledge of religion and relationship with Christ both collectively and individually, joining small groups, ministries, planning teams and Bible studies at OLL and adding more distinctive prayer time into their daily schedules. Together, Holly and Howard attend various events and retreats held by the parishes, and enjoy visiting new churches while traveling to really visualize the expansive nature of the universal Catholic Church.

When asked if they had one tip to share with newlyweds or those who are preparing for marriage in our family of parishes, this is what they had to say: "Marriage is a journey for two that is a lot easier in you can agree on a common set of values, develop and foster a strong set of friendships, maintain regular family playtime and meals and support each other in a joint faith life."

Grandchild Baptism (photo includes Thomas, the eldest Emsley child, his wife Abby and their daughter Harper)

Andy DeVito and Noelle Collis-DeVito

While both Andy and Noelle were students at the University of Dayton, they actually didn't meet on UD's campus. What brought these two together was St. Francis of Assisi Church.

In Noelle's first year of college, she wrote an essay for her religion class about her interest in youth ministry. Her professor happened to be married to the Youth Ministry Coordinator for St. Francis at the time and connected them. As she began her commitment to working with the youth of St. Francis, she met a family with three teens in the program who, when it was mentioned that she was a student at UD, shared that their brother played football for the same university. One day, their older brother picked them up from youth ministry, and it was Andy. A mere 24 hours after briefly meeting, Andy was contacting each "Noel/Noelle" in the UD phonebook in hopes of inviting Noelle to a Bible study with him, and that was the beginning of their relationship with Christ at its core. The two volunteered at St. Francis together, attended and led retreats and mission trips together, participated in Bible studies and other faith-sharing groups/events. These patterns remained a constant throughout their relationship and have kept the two together through all of life's challenges.

Collis-DeVito Wedding, June 2005

Andy and Noelle were married in June 2005 at Noelle's childhood parish in Fishers, Indiana. The two found themselves primarily focused on the liturgy of their wedding day, inviting friends and family to participate as altar servers, lectors, cantors and Eucharistic ministers.  It can be easy to get swept up in the fun and excitement of the reception party, but the true celebration was the Mass and the sacrament itself.

Today, faith remains the main focus of Noelle and Andy's relationship. After a time of serving as the Coordinator of Youth Ministry for St. Francis herself, Noelle has taught baptism classes, sang in the choir, served as a catechist, planned Vacation Bible Camp, began the Making Music Praying Twice ministry and has facilitated retreats for young people of the parish. Her most recent endeavor has been working with the Awaken program to increase accessibility to children with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Andy has participated in the Men's Retreat, volunteered with youth ministry at both the Jr. High and High School levels, served as a catechist and on Pastoral Council and has assisted with Vacation Bible Camp. The two also participate in a small faith community as well to ensure that their marriage is one where faith is at the forefront of all things.

What incredible stories of love that have grown from our parishes; we are inspired by their witness to God's love in their marriages. To say it best, Noelle shared some knowledge for other couples:

Marriage helps you grow closer to God by deeply understanding what it means to love unconditionally.  We seek to serve one another, but as humans, we both have shortcomings that can lead to moments where we are not on the same page.  Relying on God during these difficult times is what has not only gotten us through but has strengthened our relationship.  We have learned that sacramental love (agape) is not romantic.  It is an action that you choose every day, even if you do not “like” the other person.  Agape is loving without expecting anything in return.

Romantic love is also essential in a marriage, but when you commit to someone “in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health,” agape is the kind of love that perseveres when times are tough.  We have committed to always choosing each other, even when we have differences of opinion and sinfulness gets in the way.  We aspire to love the imperfect person as perfectly as God loves each of us.
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This type of love takes practice and has had positive implications in our lives beyond our marriage.  As we seek to love one another, it has taught us how to love others similarly.  This agape love has strengthened our relationship and has flowed into our connections with our children, extended family, friends, and others we encounter.