Are You a Martha or a Mary?

Original Article Written by Debbie Field 07/04/2023 | To view more of Debbie's articles, click here.

In honor of today's Memorial of Saints Martha, Mary and Lazarus, we are bringing back a classic article written by our Human Resources Manager, Debbie Field. Are you a Martha or a Mary? Let's find out!

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​Me? Yea, I tend to lean “Martha”.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  Well, let’s see.

I suppose the story of Mary and Martha is ultimately all about priorities.  Were the tasks for the day just as important or more important than focusing on our Lord?  Or was there room for both?

The Need for Both

We need do-ers in our lives like Martha.  And we also need Marys who focus on what our Lord wants from us and spending time in His presence.  It doesn’t hurt to be a little of both, but leaning more toward the Mary side is what Jesus impresses upon us in his gospel.  Jesus’ word should be our first priority while ensuring the tasks of the day come second.  It is likely all of us have both of the qualities we see in Mary and Martha.  However, when we focus the attention on Our Lord which He  deserves, we then tend to share that focus with others in service of our family, fellow parishioners, and those in our community.

How Do You Learn?

So, leaning Mary or leaning Martha is something we should all examine in ourselves.  Clearly being a “Mary” is a different/closer relationship with Jesus and understanding what he wants of us.  Our daily lives reflect the busy nature of our jobs, taking our children to soccer, daycare, basketball practice, etc.  And all of us will assess where to draw that bright line of too much or just enough.  However, it is incumbent that all people of God understand proportion and priorities.  This story of Mary and Martha brings into focus where those priorities belong.  Jesus worked hard to spread the news of eternal life through His ministry.  So, working hard is not a bad thing.  It’s when we allow that hard work to get in the way of understanding what we can learn from our Lord which may make us a “Martha”.

Being a “Martha” doesn’t mean you don’t have “Mary” in your heart.  Martha’s hard work clearly didn’t mean she didn’t love Jesus.  She clearly did; however, her focus was more logistical and hospitality-like.  She was one to serve in an effort to ensure her household was run properly and efficiently.  Martha allowed the distractions of her desire to make everything perfect for Jesus, get in the way of what was truly important.

To Martha's Surprise...
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Upon Jesus’ arrival, He made sure He conveyed there were other priorities which He wanted Martha to focus on.  It’s likely Martha was not in her comfort zone hearing this.  Afterall, she was one to take care and ensure all were treated generously and that all preparations had been made for Jesus or any guest who visited her home.  To have Jesus admonish her or remind her of the need to be “Mary-like” was probably quite surprising to her.

Do you let your day’s activities sway the attention from our Lord?  Focusing some time each day on peace and quiet allows us to set aside the chaos and craziness we all experience in our days and re-direct our focus to the One who loves us, Jesus.

Yes, You Can

But can we be both Mary and Martha at the same time?  Now, there is a question.  Perhaps through our parish ministries, which elicit the time of so many of us, we can focus on what our Lord wants of us.  Both devotion to the ministry and its goals, as well as the hard work it takes in some cases, is a way to be a little bit of Mary and a little bit of Martha, and still be what Jesus wants of us.

Many Become One

As we, within the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, begin our second year of transitioning our parishes into families of parishes, transition is also a Martha/Mary story.  Should we focus on the planning, the merging of staffs, the mass time changes, the ministry similarities, or the new pastor changes?  Or should we look toward the future when the parishes will be one family and share in the love of Christ together.  Jesus is not worried about the “how” we get there, but about the “what” our family will look like once we have arrived.  It is up to all of us to be “Mary-like” for that goal to be achieved.

We are multiple families becoming one and regardless of what we may have lost, or the grief we are experiencing in the loss of a beloved priest, our traditional mass times, a long-held parish identity, or perhaps the structural church itself to another, it is up to each one of us to listen to Jesus as he guides us to be one family.

​Please Pray for Us

So, must I change from being a “Martha” to a “Mary” to be all Jesus wants me to be?  Perhaps.  Or can I ensure my heart is “Mary-like” and my hands “Martha-like”? As a member of an Archdiocese of Cincinnati parish, I ask for your prayers that all of us who are transitioning be blessed with the strength Jesus grants us to accept the things we find difficult to accept and grateful for the opportunity to join with others of another parish as we become one family.  This is for each of us to pray on as we examine how we experience the presence of Jesus.
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Martha or Mary? Jesus loved them both. And regardless which you feel you are more like, He loves you!!